Bryce's Ramblings

Is that you have a week's worth of work waiting for you when you come back. Sigh. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have a bit to write out a good blog entry. Today, I'll be lucky to keep my sanity.

Just got back from Sesame Place, a theme park over by our mall here in PA. Why they chose to put it over here by the mall is beyond me, but we like it--some really fun water rides. TRC had a blast. It was also rather strange, since part of the climax of Pawn of the Dead (my latest book) takes place there. I'm happy to report that today's outing was completely zombie free. Of course, I also found out that they've redone a lot of the park, which invalidates a lot of my descriptions from that scene. Sigh. Oh well, I can always revise if I need to. For your viewing pleasure, I've attached some pics of the trip. Enjoy.

DKC and DC at the Count's Splash Tower--what used to be the Count's Fount.

Swimming fun.

So I found this app for posting pics from my iPhone to my blog--thought I'd give it a try.

I've seen the ads. And I've done my best to convince my son that the place is a waste of money, but my efforts were all in vain. Today we went to Chuck E. Cheese's, and I have to say that it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. In fact, it was much better. TRC had a total blast, as did DC. They got to play all the video games, eat pizza and drink soda. What could be better? If we had one within a reasonable distance from our place in Maine, I might even go again sometime. So there's an endorsement for you: Chuck E. Cheese's: not a complete waste of money.

Of course, we also went to the Philadelphia Zoo, and that was a total blast as well. (Bigger even than Chuck E. Cheese) The kids had a great time, and I even posted pictures over on my Facebook account. If you don't have Facebook, well then . . . maybe you ought to finally sign up so that you can see the pics. :-) I'm too lazy right now to post them again here on my blog. I got my hands on an old iPhone, and I've been loving every second of it. The ability to take a picture, then post it to Facebook immediately . . . that's pretty darn cool.

Anyway--just thought I'd drop in on you all to say the vacation was going great. Toodleoo!

Any idea why it's always the last bit of something that takes the longest? The last hour of a long drive, the last ten minutes of a boring movie--the last day before a long vacation. I'm tired, and I want to be gone. Just 40 minutes left until I'm done with work, at least. It's been a long week, which makes little sense--since it only had 4 days. Oh well. I'll be on the road tomorrow--have a nice weekend, all, and I'll post again next week.

Watched a couple of excellent films yesterday and the day before. Actually, I've still been watching as many as usual--just haven't been reviewing them. Too busy with other stuff. But these were both very well done, so I wanted to make sure to get to them.

Gran Turino is Clint Eastwood's latest drama, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Four stars (although I've talked to some people who really disliked the ending--it worked for me, is all I'll say). The movie's about an old Korean War vet living in an area of Detroit that's being taken over by Hmong immigrants. He's old, crotchety and a 100% bigot. Then he's forced to start seeing some of the Hmong as actual people. Drama ensues. It was very well filmed, and most of the acting was spot on--I loved Eastwood in it. Sort of made me think I was seeing what happened to Dirty Harry long after he retired. The film's rated R for rampant racially slurs and plenty of obscenity, but it's got a really good message at heart, too. For what it's worth.

Taken is a very different film. Liam Neeson plays a father whose daughter is kidnapped. But as opposed to the typical father who can only watch helplessly, Neeson has a chance to speak to the captors. This is what he says: "I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you." Bloodshed ensues. Lots of bloodshed (but not enough for an R rating--they kept it PG-13). I really liked the movie for what it was--a strong 3 stars, and an excellent example of how much you can have your protagonist get away with if you make sure he's up against even worse. Highly recommended.

Are making me crazy. DKC and I are in the market for a new one. The one we have is an old Ashley, and it burns through wood like I'd go through brownies if calories were not an issue. Add to this the fact that we just don't like how it looks (it's encased in a big gray box, which is pretty darn ugly) and the fact that the government is giving us up to 30% off a new one (if we get a fancy pants high efficiency model), and it's clear that the time has come. A new wood stove would burn the wood longer, have a sweet window, look good--essentially be better both functionally and aesthetically. But which one to get?

They ain't cheap: we're looking at models that run from $2000-$3000, and that's a chunk of change to lay down on anything. But over time--if it's a good one--we'll save that back based on wood conservation alone. But it's gotta be a good one. Right now, we're looking at three models:

Jodel Firelight F600
Vermont Castings Defiant
Hearthstone Heritage

All have pros and cons. The firelight is made by a very reliable company, but the advertised burn time isn't as long. The Vermont Castings looks great, but supposedly the company was bought out a year or two ago, and the quality might be questionable. The Hearthstone isn't as big as we'd like, but it's made out of soapstone, which is supposed to be a much more comfortable heat.

There's no clear winner.

Good thing we have plenty of time to think about this before we make the purchase. Today, I'm leaning toward the Jodel. I hear a lot of good about that brand. But as always, I'm open to suggestions from anyone else.

Howdy All--

I'm preparing for an eventual rejection on my latest novel (not because there's been any indications of that, but because I want to be prepared for the worst, just in case), and so I'm working on a query letter for it. However, I have very little experience with those little beasties, and so I'd like your help with it. The following is an EXTREMELY rough draft. Any and all comments are most welcome. Thanks in advance!


Dear INSERT EDITOR/AGENT'S NAME HERE,

When you get down to it, it wasn't Parker's fault. After all, what self respecting, movie loving, field hockey goddess worshipping fast food worker would believe it if Marlon Brando walked into his McDonald's and told him he had to defeat a zombie horde? All right, so it wasn't Marlon Brando--just a guy who happened to look like him. That doesn't make it any more believable. (Although I'll grant you that if it really had been Brando making that request, Parker shouldn't have refused. That's like Rule Number One of Offer-Making.)

But I digress.

It wasn't Parker's fault, and so you have to hand it to him: he did a pretty smash bang job with what he had to work with. Sure, it took him a bit to catch on to what was really happening, and yes--he had a bit of help from that field hockey goddess. And okay, so he got a magic trinket or two from the Marlon Brando wannabe. But if you start pointing out that he almost screwed everything up by falling for the evil prophetess who was leading the horde, stop right there. Evil prophetesses are supposed to be ugly. You turn into a hormonal sixteen year old and then try resisting the wiles of Sex Incarnate. That's a superhuman feat right there, but he managed to pull it off, somehow.

(Of course, some of that depends on how you define "pull it off." As long as you mean "less than 100 people died, a theme park was only partially destroyed and a high school simply traumatized instead of wiped off the map," then yes--Parker pulled it off. If you expected less damage than that, then you really ought to reevaluate your expectations of 16 year old protagonists facing down world-destroying armies of the undead.)

PAWN OF THE DEAD is a 65,000 word young adult, urban fantasy novel. I'm happy to provide a complete manuscript for your review. Thank you for your time.

I've been a fan of Michael Jackson's music for as long as I can remember. The music, mind you. I've never really been able to make my mind up about him as an individual, but since I never met the man, I suppose that's logical. (Side note: I always do my best not to confuse a person's public persona (in movies, music, writing, etc.) with their actual personality. I can think a person is a total slimeball in real life, but still have no trouble respecting the work he or she produces. Likewise, I can adore someone, but have little regard for their art.) And so it's as an MJ music fan that I'm really sad right now. From the Jackson 5 to some of his latest works, I almost always liked something about every album he released, and I was really holding out hope that his latest comeback tour would pan out and give the world back the performer it had lost somewhere in the mid to late nineties. Unfortunately, now that chance is gone.

At the same time, I can't help being really angry at the media. The same media who gleefully tore down Michael Jackson as often as it could, poking at his personal life, finances and fiascoes, is now stumbling over each other in a race to see who can say the most nice things about the man. Sure, there's a mention now and then of his past troubles (the media just can't resist), but for the most part, it's now all about what a great artist he always was, and how the world has been robbed of him too soon. You know what, media? You can't have it both ways. This reminds me a lot of what the media did when John Ritter died. The man had received no attention whatsoever, then suddenly all we read about for days was what a loss his death was. To me, it's all nothing more than a blatant grab for readers, and it leaves me with a slightly oily feeling.

I much prefer the many blog tributes that have popped up, as people take time to remember what his music did for them. Much more personal and meaningful.

For me, Michael was all about cool dance moves that I had no chance of every imitating, cool music that I liked to listen to (and even try moon-walking to now and then--unsuccessfully), clothes I would never think about wearing, and cool videos that became more and more bizarre over the years, usually accented with random crotch grabs that I did my best to overlook. (Seriously--what was up with those?) Little Christmas Tree is one of my favorite Christmas songs. You are Not Alone randomly gets stuck in my head for days at a time, and I have no idea how it gets there.

In any case, so long Michael. And thanks for all the fish.

I've tried Twitter. Repeatedly. And each time, I shake my head and wander away elsewhere on the internets, unable to figure out just what the appeal is behind Twitter. 140 characters? I struggle sometimes to limit my blog lengths to something people will actually read instead of just gloss over. All Twitter is to me right now is a collection of Facebook status updates without Facebook.

I'm sure I must not be getting it.

Therefore, would one of you out there mind explaining to me why it's the bee's knees? I'd appreciate it, because I really want to be "with it"--especially with something that's supposedly oh so cool and techy.

So I came across an interesting site today: Alice. Basically, it's supposed to work as a general tool to help people buy household goods from home, with free shipping. I'm looking into it right now--have no idea how much there prices are, or if it's worth it, but the concept intrigues me, so I thought I'd pass it along to all of you. Check it out and tell me what you think. Oh--and if it asks for a referral code, you can use mine, too: 1390C8F

FYI--This is their sales pitch:

"Let’s face it; you can probably think of a thousand things you’d rather do than drive to the store again and again for toilet paper, toothpaste, trash bags and the dozens of other home essentials that keep your home running. We can too. That’s why we started Alice.

The Internet has changed the way we shop for things like books, clothing, shoes and electronics. We buy online for the convenience and the power we have to get product reviews, choose brands, see price comparisons, and make better choices.

But when it comes to home essentials, we still trudge off the store, load up the cart, and haul a trunk-load of stuff out the parking lot. Why? Because no one has come up with an efficient, cost-effective way to buy these goods online. Until now."

The Fires of Heaven by Robert Jordan

My review

rating: 4 of 5 stars
So this is the first one of my reviews that I've downgraded. I originally rated Fires of Heaven five stars, based on memory alone. Now it's four, and if it weren't for an awesome finale, it would have been lucky to have three. What did I think about it? I think the book took a tremendous turn from the epic fantasy roots of the first three in the series--a turn that started in book four, but which didn't really become apparent until this novel. Jordan went from writing an excellent save the world fantasy to writing an explore the world and its characters while you save it fantasy. And I'm not really a big fan of some of the exploration scenes--at least not now.

Perhaps if I were reading this for the first time again, it would be different, but as it was, I was really bored by the the endless circus and Prophet scenes with Nynaeve and Elayne. They worked at first--especially with Birgitte coming into play--but then about halfway through, they turned into much more of a "get Nynaeve and Elayne to Salidar--slowly" vehicle. Nynaeve can't remember the name of the town? And she's too scared to go back to the Dream World to search for it more? That just got to be too contrived for me, an excuse to explore a town on the verge of rioting. Add to that the endless harping of the three women in that section . . . I sighed every time they popped up, which was often.

And which is too bad, because the Rand stuff is great. The fight for Cairhien, Moiraine vs. Lanfear, the climactic battle vs. Rahvin--all very cool, very well done, exciting stuff. Some of the best action of the series. And Mat starts to really come into his own at last.

Still, as much as I enjoyed those pieces of the book (they were enough to get the entirety a whole extra star in my rating), I'm getting my first sniff of Trouble Ahead. No Perrin at all for the entire novel? Okay, I can understand that more or less. Not much was happening with him. But I think where the frustrations of fans came into play lie in the fact that Jordan started one type of series, and the series morphed into another beast along the way. The pieces of the original series (the action/epic fantasy series) are still there, but they've had a slew of character studies, scene descriptions and world building spliced into them, which is cool if that's what you're going for--but it isn't what the series originally promised.

We'll see what the later books hold in store for me. Maybe I'm needlessly worried. I hope so. Stay tuned to find out.

View all my reviews.

DKC and I watched Yes Man last night, and I have to say that I actually really enjoyed it. I wasn't expecting to, if you can't tell. Something about Jim Carrey in serious/funny movies just never feels quite right to me before I actually see the film. I only reluctantly watched Truman Show, for example. But then again, now that I think about it, I realize that he's been in some of my favorite films, too--I adored Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, for example. But then again, he was also in that awful Grinch live action, so maybe he's just a mixed bag in general. Anyway. I liked this movie (with the exception of one scene that I dearly wish I could scrub my mind of forever, and which makes me hesitant to recommend the movie to anyone. But it's a scene you can see coming a mile away, and if you just skip it once it rears its ugly head, you'll be fine.) For those of you who don't know, the film is about Carrey as a man who always says no to everything. Doesn't want to do anything. And then one day, he hears an inspirational speaker and decides to say yes. To everything. Hitchhikers? Yes. Dates with strange women? Yes. Persian wife finder.com? Yes. Hilarity and heartwarming ensue. I give the film three stars. It doesn't get too ridiculously sappy (like Click did), and it manages to stay interesting and fun throughout. Carrey also gives a pretty good performance, only lapsing into insanity now and then, instead of all of the time.

Of course, the film also got me thinking. There are a lot of things that people pass up, just because they're in a habit of saying no as default. I know I do this a lot. I'll have an opportunity to do something or go somewhere, but it's easier just to stay at home and do nothing--so that's what I do. Skiing is a good example. So's ice skating and anything outdoorsy for me. I always have a good time when I go, but I rarely do. I wonder if DKC and I could institute some sort of Yes Man policy--where we're allowed to veto a "no" decision every so often. (I wonder how often would be too often?) She doesn't want to see a certain movie? I veto that decision and make her say yes. I don't want to go do something? She can do the same thing to me. Maybe this would work with my kids, too--if TRC really wanted me or DKC to do something or play something, he'd get a certain number of Yes Man cards or something . . .

Anyone done anything like that before? I know my sister does a thing with her weekly date night where she and her husband take turns planning the whole thing, and the other has to go along with. That's along the same lines--other ideas? I'd love to hear them.

*NOTE: I can't get into specifics here, but hopefully this post makes sense anyway. If not, oh well.

Riddle me this, Batman: why is it that one of the best ways to feel better about yourself is by putting other people down? It's not really like it moves you at all--you don't become a better person by someone else failing, just as you don't become a worse person by someone else's success. And yet when someone succeeds, it can be easy to feel like you've failed, and when someone fails, you can feel like you've succeeded.

I can't really get into specifics here, but suffice it to say that over the weekend, I was feeling pretty down. Not because of anything I'd done--but because I suddenly realized certain facts of others' performance that I hadn't been aware of before. And so I went from feeling fairly on top of things, more or less, to feeling like a poor red-headed step child. And then today, after investigating certain things some more, I came across additional facts that I also hadn't know before, and these facts then put my work in a much more favorable light.

And now I feel good again.

But I can't help but wonder: nothing I did personally changed between Friday and today. And yet I went from up to down to up. Wouldn't it have been easier for me just to feel good about what I do/did, without needing to compare myself to others?

No doubt.

I'm going to be away from the world o'blogdom for a day tomorrow--I'm heading down to New Hampshire to go to a conference. What I mean is: I don't think I'm going to be able to post tomorrow. And what's worse: I don't really have time to post today. This post you're reading right now? Yeah. It's about all you're going to get from me until Monday. Buck up, though. I'll be back. Don't cry. You can live without me for a day, right? Don't look at me like that. You'll make me feel guilty.

I'm leaving now.

Really.

So long.

So, for those of you who check my Facebook status, you know that as of today, I'm under 200 pounds for the first time in 12 years. That means I've now lost over 26 pounds. (Yes, three of those pounds came off yesterday due to my food poisoning, but I'll take whatever help I can.) As I recall, I was 180 for a while during my sophomore year of high school. Working at McDonald's put on 5 pounds in about 2 weeks that never came off, and then cafeteria food all freshman year of college got me to 190, give or take a pound. The MTC (Missionary Training Center, for you non-Mormons out there) added 15 pounds in 9 weeks. (All you can eat food minus any real exercise = big weight gain.) So that means that in November of 1997, I went from about 190 to about 205. I've never dipped below 200 since then.

Until today.

This lousy diet is no fun, but I gotta say I like the results. 26 pounds since February 26 of this year. And for those who keep asking, no--I don't do any exercise. (Other than walking around town, etc.--nothing structured.) I'm not counting carbs, I'm not only drinking milkshakes--I'm not doing any strange diet things. I eat what I want still. I just count calories like Scrooge counts pennies. It's all be calories in, calories out. I know I'm awful when it comes to routine exercise, so I wanted this weight to come off by eating habit change alone--to give it a good shot of staying off. Fitday.com is my tool of choice, and I can't recommend it highly enough. My goal is 190 pounds. 9.4 to go. Once I get below 194.7, I'll officially no longer be overweight.

There will be much rejoicing.

I've been too busy throwing up the last two days to be able to muster the effort needed to really come up with a good blog post. Note to self: be careful of conference food. If the cheese tastes funny, don't eat it.

That is all.

Oh--except I did notice that June 20th is free RPG day. There are no participating stores in Maine. There is a participating store in Provo. Anyone feel like picking me up some free swag?

Last night DKC and I watched Rescue Dawn, a flick "based on a true story" about a US fighter pilot who got shot down in Laos during the Vietnam War, was taken prisoner, and then escaped. It stars Christian Bale and is directed by Werner Herzog, so it's got a good pedigree. The film itself was enjoyable, but something felt off to me throughout it. I kept being very aware of the fact that this was a movie--the characters didn't seem consistent . . . I don't know. It's hard for me to put a finger on, and I'm making a bigger deal of it here than I ought to, considering I'm giving the film a 3 star rating (although it was almost a 2.5). I recommend seeing it. I just don't recommend you watching it and then thinking that you now understand what "really happened." It turns out that Herzog took extreme liberties with the story, turning characters from heroes to lunatics in the film, essentially building up the main character into an uber-hero at the expense of the other people in the film. In a fictional work, that seems fine.

But what about in a work that's billed as being based in reality?

The brother of the aforementioned maligned hero has taken issue with this, going so far as to create a website that clarifies what his brother did/did not do. After having read it and seen the movie, I think he's got a really good case. His brother didn't deserve to be portrayed the way he was.

What gets my goat is that Herzog defends the end of the movie by saying "that's what really happened." That door swings both ways, buddy. You can't on the one hand be slavish to reality at times, only to completely abandon it at others. I think this is why the film felt off to me--because it was reality being warped into a story that didn't quite fit together.

In the end, I think anyone watching a Hollywood film hoping to understand history better is yearning for a burning. At best, you can get an accurate portrayal of someone's perception of history. Let's face it: we can never recreate the past or the present. You and I can have a conversation, then try to reconstruct it word for word the next day, and we'll both likely have differences in what we remember. And that's with something as simple as a conversation. Think about huge events, portrayed decades later. What is "true" in that situation?

I love movies based on reality. Cinderella Man. Seabiscuit. Rocky. (Well, not Rocky, but we can all wish, can't we?) But I think that directors have some obligation if they slap a "based on a true story" promotion on the film, and I think we as the audience have an obligation to take it all with a grain of salt.

But enough about what I think--what do you think?

The Shadow Rising by Robert Jordan

My review

rating: 5 of 5 stars
As I've been reading through these books, I'm seeing a couple of things. First of all, I think I'd been too inundated with the "Jordan's books never have anything that happens" arguments over the years. I'd retroactively given this book three stars, mainly because I looked at the cover and couldn't quite remember what happened in this one. Since it didn't stand out to me, I figured it must not have been all that great. Naturally, once I actually re-read it, I discovered how wrong I was. Perrin saving the Two Rivers has always been a favorite section of mine, as has the Rhuidean section with Rand and Mat. While Elayne and Nynaeve typically end up boring me, I do like the Moghedien section at the end. One of the great things about this series is how the pieces of it ebb and flow together. There are parts of each character's storyline that I really love--and parts that typically make me bored. So while here I was always eager to get back to Perrin, at other times, I'm not too fond of what's happening with him. (Anything with the Traveling People, for one thing). While I suppose you could argue that it would be better if the entire series was full of non-stop highs, with action and exciting things happening all the time, I'd argue that if that's what you're looking for, a 15,000 page epic series is the wrong place to find it.


That said, I have noticed myself start skimming in certain spots--primarily in descriptions. Over the years, I've become much more of a YA fan, and one of the things I love about YA is the sparse descriptions. Jordan is very good at description, but I just don't want to read all of it sometimes. Then again, that might also be due to the fact that I'm rereading these, and all the descriptions were so memorable the first time, that I don't really feel the need to reread them the second time. They're still vivid in my head. I'm not sure.


In any case, the series has yet to reach a lull for me. Let's see what happens with the Fires of Heaven.


View all my reviews.

For all you fantasy fans out there, in case you weren't aware of it, my good friend Brandon Sanderson just came out with a very rare type of fantasy book: a standalone novel. Yes, that's right. It begins and ends within one cover. Actually, this is a book he's released in drafts over the web for the past year or two, and it's just now that Tor is releasing it in hardback. You can see Brandon's post about it here, where he includes handy links to the book online, as well as gives a summary of it and includes a list of reviews of the book. It's getting great press, and I've already ordered a copy for myself. Even if you don't love fantasy, I'm sure you know a fantasy lover. They'd be overjoyed to get this book. Trust me. (And if they're not, then you can blame me.) Brandon's the author finishing the Robert Jordan series, and if you're anybody in fantasy, you really should be reading him. I can't recommend his books highly enough. Plus, the book industry could really use your support, because I'd really rather it still exist by the time I'm actually able to publish a novel. :-)